from a hot (and steamy) place

My 100th post. And it's going to be a mighty quick one

I'm in Townsville and I am sating myself on hugs from my baby.

I shall write (and, if you're lucky, post photos) when I get back.

phantom service

On Monday my next-door neighbour got connected to broadband.

I got all excited and immediately checked my number on the Bigpond site. Disappointment. It came up as ADSL unavailable. Bugger.

Just for shits and giggles, I put my neighbours number in to see what the page would look like when I eventually got eligible.

It came up as ADSL not available.

I went next door and we checked his number using his Bigpond supplied ADSL modem and service. Same answer.

It seemed my neighbour had been supplied with a service that the provider said was not available.

I rang Bigpond. I explained the situation. They explained to me, in very simplistic and patronising terms, that I was wrong. He must have wireless. We must be on different exchanges. His must have satellite.

I was insistent. I pushed. Very politely but I demanded answers. She went off and consulted supervisors and tech support.

Eventually, with no answers forthcoming, she said she had put my case in for dispute resolution and someone would ring me in less than 10 days.

I was still rather porked off. The girl had tried her best but I wanted answers.

I got onto the Bigpond website again and eventually found a (well hidden) feedback form. Once again I explained my case.

This morning I got a very polite answer which said, in part...

"I understand that you are querying about why ADSL is not available to you at this time.

I have reviewed your query and I can confirm that each phone line runs along a unique path from the exchange to the premises the phone line connects to. In some cases, this may mean that a neighbour next door may be able to access ADSL, while another neighbour can't. I apologise for the inconvenience.

Despite ADSL not currently being available, we ....."

No no no no no. That was not my question. My question was "why does my neighbour have a service which you say cannot be supplied? And can I have it too please?"

I wrote back. I, once again, explained the whole scenario. (With his permission) I gave my neighbour's phone number and Bigpond log-in name again. I re-asked my question.

I shall now wait.

Again.

waiting for paint to dry

I am sure there is a way to paint ceilings without getting splattered. I just haven't found it.

Having (painstakingly) removed all the bloody glow-in-the-dark stars and planets (never buy your kids showbags with free stickers!) and drenched myself in hot sugar soap solution, the first coat on the ceiling has, at last, gone on. Mostly on the plaster but, also, liberally sploshed on the walls, floor and me. (There is also some on Oi but quite how that happened I don't know. He wasn't even in the room.)

Second coat will go on as soon as I have finished up with blogging.

Hmmm, this calls for some procrastination. So, a small story.

A few weeks ago I got an email from my daughter in far off (and not very nice) places. Amongst the news she made a request for some books to be sent over. She said she was currently into biographies, the "girlie bleeding-heart" type. I put a plea out to my (almost)DIL because she reads that type of stuff and also had a quick scan through my bookshelves for anything suitable. I sent her off a couple of my books, including this one by our very own CosmicThis morning I got another email from my girl. Amongst other things she said...

"I need more lip balm, the body shop one, and are there any more books by Murray? I loved the warm fuzzy one. Weve all red(sic) it even the godman."

So, if you haven't bought her book, maybe you should. After all, a gaggle of faraway soldiers in a nasty place (and me) can't be wrong

More procrastination.

I filched this from Jen (who probably nicked it from other people)

The instructions are: Bold what you have read, italicize those you didn't finish, strikethrough the ones you hated, put *asterisks next to those you’ve read more than once, and put a + cross in front of the books that are on your bookshelf. Underline books that are on your "to read" list.

the list, and my reactions to it:

+Anna Karenina
*+Crime and Punishment
Catch-22
One hundred years of solitude
*+Wuthering Heights
+The Silmarillion
Life of Pi: a novel
+The Name of the Rose
Don Quixote
*+Moby Dick
Ulysses
Madame Bovary
*+The Odyssey
*+Pride and Prejudice
*+Jane Eyre
*+A Tale of Two Cities
The Brothers Karamazov
+Guns, Germs, and Steel: the fates of human societies
+War and Peace
+Vanity Fair
The Time Traveller’s Wife
+The Iliad
+Emma
The Blind Assassin
The Kite Runner
Mrs. Dalloway
+Great Expectations
+American Gods
+A heartbreaking work of staggering genius
Atlas shrugged
Reading Lolita in Tehran
Memoirs of a Geisha
Middlesex
Quicksilver
Wicked : the life and times of the wicked witch of the West
+The Canterbury Tales
The Historian
+A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
Love in the Time of Cholera
*+Brave New World
+The Fountainhead
+Foucault’s Pendulum
+Middlemarch
Frankenstein
+The Count of Monte Cristo
+Dracula
*+A Clockwork Orange
Anansi Boys
*+The Once and Future King
+The Grapes of Wrath
The Poisonwood Bible
*+1984
*+Angels & Demons
+The Inferno
+The Satanic Verses
+Sense and Sensibility
The Picture of Dorian Gray
+Mansfield Park
+One flew over the cuckoo’s nest
To the Lighthouse
*+Tess of the D’Urbervilles
+Oliver Twist
+Gulliver’s Travels
Les Misérables
The Corrections
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay
+The curious incident of the dog in the night-time
Dune
The Prince
The Sound and the Fury
+Angela’s Ashes
+The God of Small Things
A people’s history of the United States : 1492-present
Cryptonomicon
Neverwhere
A Confederacy of Dunces
+A Short History of Nearly Everything
Dubliners
+The Unbearable Lightness of Being
Beloved
Slaughterhouse-five
+The Scarlet Letter
Eats, Shoots & Leaves
+The Mists of Avalon
Oryx and Crake : a novel
+Collapse : how societies choose to fail or succeed
Cloud Atlas
The Confusion
+Lolita
+Persuasion
+Northanger Abbey
+The Catcher in the Rye
On the Road
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Freakonomics
+*Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
The Aeneid
*+Watership Down
Gravity’s Rainbow
*+The Hobbit
+In Cold Blood
White Teeth
+Treasure Island
+David Copperfield
The Three Musketeers

I hadn't realised how many books my hubby had bought and I hadn't yet read. Time to rattle my dags.

OK, this second coat isn't going to do itself.

I'm tired of.....

As I get older (which I seem to be doing with a distressing speed), I find myself far less patient than I used to be. Things seem to get on my wick that, in previous times, I would have calmly accepted. I choose, increasingly, to ignore or avoid those things that irk me.

Some things can not be avoided.

In my perfect world, I could go a whole day (just 24 little hours) without being bombarded with news (if it can be called such), analysis, opinions, statistics and media releases about this bloody election. I could, just for that day, have the newspapers actually report the news that matters. I could be Rudd-less and Johnny-less for one entire day.

With another month for the political pundits to reach their fever pitch, I doubt I will see any break in the bombardment.

As for Ben bloody Cousins.......

oops

On Sunday night, I was cleaning my toenails with a toothpick (as you do) and I slipped. I managed to stab myself in the deep meaty spot where the nail, toe and cuticle meat. It caused pain and a small amount of blood.

Yesterday (having forgotten all about it), I headed off to town to get some fruit and veg, meat and bread. I wore ordinary old cloth slip-ons. Nothing tight or evil. By the time I got home (having shed my shoes for the drive) the toe was throbbing and mighty uncomfortable. On examination, it was also hugely swollen and bright bright red.

I gave it a poke (as you do) and it was all oozy.

As the day wore on, it got sorer and sorer and redder and redder and fatter and fatter. By last evening it had become the pounding centre of my existence.

Time for a little home nursing.

Armed with micropore, ZO tape, gauze and magnoplasm, ( courtesy of my strapper's bag)I got to work. I gave it a good clean with hot soap and water, then peroxide (well, as good a clean as I could achieve given the owiness factor). I anointed it liberally with gooey magnoplasm and topped it with gauze. I then wrapped it with paper tape and a skin of ZO to keep the goo in.

It looked ridiculous.

I kept waking during the night every time the doona touched my toe. I ended up sleeping on the spare mattress (with the cat) with my foot sticking out.

The magnoplasm seems to be doing it's work. The toe is markedly less owie now but I shall leave the dressing on for the full 24 hours.

Isn't it crazy how all-consuming these tiny injuries can be? I would much rather cope with a surgical wound or a broken bone than a black nail or a pimple up my nose.

And what is even crazier is that, when I next get the urge to clean my toenails, and there is a toothpick within easy reach, my slothful nature will probably lead me to tempt fate all over again.

a lazy entry

I stole this from Lena because memes are so good for procrastination.

A HEAP OF MEMES1. Spell your name as it sounds.
Fee-oh-nah

2. Are you available?
For?

3. What is your favourite number?
52 is pretty good right now

4. Favourite colour?
On me? As furnishing? In nature?

5. Least favourite colour?
Puce

6. When is the last time you cried?
Proper cry rather than blubbing at a movie? When B left for Afghanistan

7. What should you be doing right now?
Sugar soaping the ceiling in the new "Grandma room"

THE CANS:

1. Can you blow a bubble?
In water - yes. With bubble gum - nope.

2. Can you touch your toes?
If I cross my legs or bend my knees. Touching one's toes whilst standing is bad for one's back. (That is my theory and I'm sticking to it.)

3. Can you whistle?
I can make noise. Whether it can actually be classified as a whistle or not.....

4. Can you wiggle your ears?
No but my Pop could. It was his coolest attribute.

5. Can you roll your tongue?
No. I can turn it up-side-down though.

6. Can you tie a cherry stem with your tongue?
WTF?

THE DIDS:

1. Did you ever want to be a doctor?
No.

2. Did you ever receive an engagement ring?
Yes, in 1975.

3. Did you ever want to be a fire fighter?
Not only wanted to. Was. For 15 years.

THE DO’S:

1. Do you believe in God?
No. I don't DISbelieve, I just don't know.

2. Do you know how to swim?
I am Australian, therefore I swim.

3. Do you like roller coasters?
Never been on one, never been tempted.

4. Do you own a bike?
Own - yes. Use - no.

5. Does your car get good gas mileage?
I drive a Getz. They run on the smell of the proverbial oily rag.

6. Does your family have family picnics?
Not any more. We used to regularly meet my parents halfway between our houses and picnic when the kids were small. We also used to meet the in-laws in a park because our kids were way too boisterous for home visits!

7. Does your home have a bookcase?
Nine. All overflowing.

THE HAVES:

1. Have you ever been to Canada?
Yes. Love it. If I had to live somewhere other than here, Canada would be my second choice (after NZ).

2. Have you ever gone fishing?
Reluctantly, yes. I even caught a fish. It was gross. Now, crabbing, on the other hand......mmmmm crabs

3. Have you ever seen a celebrity?
I shared a lift with David Duchovny once, passed Mohammed Al Fayed in a foyer, had my back signed by Russell Morris and Johnny (when he still was Johnny) Farnham, had breakfast at the table between Tony Greig and Ian Healey, threw Johnny Young out of a hospital ward, stood next to Kim Beazley Jr at the airport carousel, spilt water on Angry Anderson and sung for the queen.

4. Have you ever been on a motorcycle?
I went out with a bikie a few times in my misspent youth, my best friend owned a PeeWee 50 when I was a kid and my SIL owns a Harley so, yeah, I've been on the odd bike.

THE HOWS:

1. How much money do you have on you right now?
On me? None. In my purse? A couple of hundred.

2. How many cars have you owned?
Me personally? Legally - one. It was my son's Monaro and it was cheaper (way way cheaper) to insure if it was owned by his mum than the 19yo youth he was at that stage. All our family cars have been registered in my husband's name.

3. How many jobs have you had?
Bloody hell, this is dredging the memory. Paid jobs - fruit picker, kindergarten assistant, nanny, student nurse, ward sister, day care, charge sister, fire-fighter, fire fighting instructor, OH&S nurse, agency nurse, farm hand, industrial trainer, soccer team strapper, assessment manual writer, army officer, cadet instructor, grief counsellor. I think that's all. Unpaid jobs - P&C secretary, committee treasurer, committee secretary, fire-fighter, wife, mother (cook, cleaner, chauffeur, counsellor, teacher, wet nurse, nanny, clown etc etc etc), kindergarten president, tour guide, . That'll do.

THE LASTS:

1. Last person you hung out with?
If it can be called "hanging out", my husband. Proper hanging out would be with my neighbour Peg.

2. Last thing you said out loud?
"move you lazy fat dog"

3. Last time you ate at McDonald’s?
I had Maccas for brekkie when I was last in Townsville

4. Last grade completed?
Year 12 (it was called matric in those days)

5. Last thing you bought?
newspaper

THE WHATS:

1. What is the temperature outside?
24 (and a bit) on my back verandah (at 1006hrs

2. What time did you wake up?
At 5ish for a wee and at 0640 to get up

NUMBER TWO SURVEY:

1. What is the last mistake you made?
I did a typo about three answers back

2. Is the sun shining?
Sure is.

3. Can you successfully blow up and tie a balloon?
Is this hard?

4. Do you like text messaging?
neither sending nor receiving

5. What do you eat the most at your best friend’s house?
Rarely eat, mostly drink, usually diet coke.

6. Boyfriend/Girlfriend?
yes, I have friends of both genders

7. Are you wearing any make-up right now?
LMAO I think I might still own some that hasn't expired but probably not.

8. What are your plans for later?
Sugar soap and paint

9. What is your favourite DDG song?
I have no idea what this means. Hang on while I google. Apparently it is something called Drop Dead, Gorgeous. I am still none the wiser.

10. Is there any drama within your life?
Things only become dramas if you allow them to do so. Life presents challenges to overcome and problems to solve, not dramas. I currently have neither challenges nor problems of any note.

11. What is a song they need to stop playing on the radio?
I listen to 97.7 Maybe they should stop playing Schubert's lieder, I don't like them much

12. Are you happy with life right now?
I am content. I have periods of happiness. They outweigh the bad times.

13. Does anyone like you?
Yes. Life would be pretty bloody sad if this answer was a no.

14. What is your current obsession?
I don't obsess. It takes too much effort and I am basically lazy.

15. Do you have a dog?
I have an Oi. Zoologically, he is a canine. In all other ways he is just a member of the family (albeit a rather hirsute one). We also have a Dizzy but she is my husband's concern.

16. Ever been kissed under mistletoe?
No. But I once pruned some off our tuart once.

17. Would you ever smile at a stranger?
Would and do. All the time.

18. Ever pulled your pants down in the street?
Not in adult life.

19. Do your toenails have nail polish on them?
No

20. When is the last time you wore eye-liner?
about 1974

21. Last curse word you said was?
bugger (is that a curse word?)

22. Are your lips chapped?
No

23. Are you currently jealous?
Only of the big D for having a dishwasher.

24. Do you own an ipod?
No. Doubt I ever will.

25. Did you have a dream last night?
None that I remember

26. Are you mad at anyone?
No

27. Who is the loudest person you know?
My middle daughter.

28. What is going on this weekend?
SFA as usual

29. Done any spring cleaning lately
Why, yes, yes I have. I threw out some fat clothes, donated some books to the needy and cleaned out my underwear draw.

30. Anything bothering you?
Nope

31. Do you do cheerleading?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

32. Did you wish for anything last night on 11:11?
Huh?

33. Do you drink coffee on a regular basis?
Love the smell, hate the taste. I'm a tea person.

34. Do you wish you were someone else?
No. A different me at times but no someone else

35. What jewellery are you wearing?
0

36. Funniest thing that happened last night?
Oi sat on the cat

37. Are you easily amused?
too easily at times

38. Can you lick your elbow?
Anatomically impossible

39. Do you know this song, we stay fly no lie you know this?
That would be a no

40. What piercings do you have?
Ears. One hole

41. Do you have a crush right now?
Only on The Rock but that isn't a crush, it is true love.

42. What are your plans over the summer?
Hibernate and avoid the heat (and, maybe, move Mum over here)

43. How’s life going for you?
Pretty bloody OK

44. What is on your mind just this second?
I need a wee

45. Favourite vacation spot?
Luxury hotels. Location doesn't matter

46. Do you have on chap stick?
No, never have

47. What hurts right now?
nothing

48. Do you like school?
This is a "did" question rather than a "do". And, yes, at times I liked school (and at other times it was total shit)

49. Is this survey good?
Good for wasting time and procrastinating.

50. Sneak out lately?
I'm a grown-up, I don't sneak

51. Last thing you had to drink?
Pineapple Juice

52. Do you want a tattoo?
Yes, which is a good thing because I'm told they hurt like hell to get removed.

53. Want any more piercings?
No

54. Single or taken?
This is a hard question. Legally - taken. But should The Rock become available.....

55. How long have you been single/taken?
A very very long time

men's work

Eighteen odd years ago, when we first moved here, M brought home a small, nay, minute, gum in a tube. He planted it in a large vacant area out the front of the house. That wee treeling struggled to establish itself amongst the tangle of long grass and the thoughtless assaults of kids and dogs. Eventually it got some roots down and grew a bit. And a bit more. Then a lot more. Then heaps and ridiculous heaps more.

That feeble few leaves on a two inch tube plant identified itself as a Tasmanian Blue Gum. The same Tasmanian Blue Gum that grows to 100 feet in the wild and up to 150 as a specimen.

It kept growing. The pale round juvenile leaves were replaced by the dark green adult straps. The bark shrunk and peeled from the ever expanding branches. The tip towered over the house and the canopy shaded everything for yards around.

About five years ago we bit the bullet and got the tree loppers in. With much mess and noise, they reduced our towering timber to a manageable height.

It looked deformed and ugly for a few weeks before it set about doing what it had proved to do best. It grew. New leaves were followed by new twigs and then great heavy boughs. The tip soared up toward the sky once more.

Last month we got a notice from Synergy. Some of the Blue Gum branches were getting too close to the power lines. We were ordered to cut it back or they would massacre prune it for us.

This morning Mr Hamilton and his boys arrived to do the job. They brought a cherry picker on a huge truck because this is what was waiting for them.

With one in the picker (attacking with various chansaws) and two on the ground, they slowly reduced the crown to,well, to a handful of bald sticks (albeit very fat sticks).

This is what our majestic gum looks like now.

It is still over 40 feet high but a lot less pictureque.

They also removed a couple of branches off the curly willow that were hanging over the roof (breaking a tile in the process), chopped a misplaced ficus off at the socks, trimmed a wedge into the lemon tree that we had stupidly planted under the supply line and gave the bougainvillea a good hair cut.

All the off-cuts were collected up (right down to the last fallen leaf) and loaded into a huge munching machine to be turned into instant mulch and spat out into the truck that towed it.

It was a busy and noisy morning (and did bad things to my chequebook) but it accomplished a job that needed doing.

Oh, and they gave my cotton palm a bit of a trim too.

---

And, for those of you that asked for an explanation....

"I don't often barrack for (root for) the poms (English). In fact, not often equates pretty much to never.

Yet, tonight, I almost found myself singing God Saves the Queen in my excitement at the possibility that they might wipe the arrogant scowl off Sebastien Chabal(a French rugby player)'s hairy mug (face).

Carn (come on) the Poms (English team)."

I'm not racist but.....

I don't often barrack for the poms. In fact, not often equates pretty much to never.

Yet, tonight, I almost found myself singing God Saves the Queen in my excitement at the possibility that they might wipe the arrogant scowl off Sebastien Chabal's hair mug.

Carn the Poms

WARNING: reflex scratching will occur

My regular Wednesday night dinner mate came around as usual. We sat outside, gossiping and smoking way too much.

We talked, mostly, about her new job. She has recently gone from being a school-based counsellor to being (in my understanding) someone who tackles the causes (and finds the cures) of truancy in 16yos. She has gone from having a great deal of very close contact with the kids to a more supervisory role.

During the discussions, she deviated and asked me about the skin condition on my scalp (which has cleared up nicely, thanks for asking). She wanted to know it if was contagious. She'd had a really itchy head, to the extent of making it bleed with the scratching, which had been a major symptom of my psoriasis. Having established that it wasn't catching, she asked me to investigate.

She spent the rest of her visit wearing Gladwrap round her conditioner-drenched head.

Yep. Nits.

I'll wait while you stop shuddering.

It seems that her contact with those troubled kids was closer than I realised and left more than just an entry in her resume.

I never had nits as a kid and I wasn't aware of any of my friends being infested either. (We all got worms a lot but never nits.) My first experience was when my eldest daughter was in kindy. We went through about 6 month (and umpteen bottles of KP24) before the outbreak was controlled. Again, when I had two in high and two in primary, we went through an appalling outbreak. It was nearly two years before we managed to have an infestation free home. (The papers, at the time, were full of stories of everyone else being in the same predicament so I didn't feel too bad.)

My mate has lots of hair. It comes down to her waist and is the thickest hair I have ever seen. Her ponytail is as thick as my wrist.

It seems times have changed since my kids suffered and all the nasty chemicals are now considered unnecessary. The current control method is to smother the buggers with either oil (preferably Tea Tree) or conditioner. Following the Health Dept instructions, we anointed her scalp and hair liberally with conditioner. It took a whole 600ml bottle (but she smells good because all I had was Fructis).

I took embarrassing photos of her looking like Capt Condom to send to B (but not post here because that would be just too cruel as I have never figured out how to fuzz the faces out on pictures).

And I naively thought that my (outstanding) curry would be the highlight of the evening.

Somewhere out there a mother is weeping. A wife. A father. A child. Brothers or sisters. Friends. Mates.

But the padre didn't come to our door.

It wasn't our boy.

This time, the fates have been kind. To us.

But not to everyone.

pass the Spakfila

The builders have gone. At long last I have my house to myself again. And (as a real bonus) I can get into the study once more.

The work went well and looks great (r as great as it can look until the paintwork is done and the carpets down). The fact that it is absolutely bucketing down outside may delay the painting process for a while. The new rending and plaster needs a few nice dry days to cure. Once that is done I shall get my painting clothes on and tackle the walls and ceiling. (Is it just me or is the whole sugar soaping and spaking the worst part of painting?).

I am well pleased with how the room turned out. I was a little worried that joining the two original rooms would make for an awkward long thin shape. The measurements looked OK on paper but, until you see it IRL, you never know. I was also not sure about truncating the passage to turn the door to the second room into a BIR but it has worked out just fine. The tiling blends it right in.

Here are a few before, during and after pics.

A holey ceiling.

Jack with Spak

Broken wallsA new end to the passageSkank investigates the new BIRPaint needed!

And now I am going to do that scary thing that happens when computer access has been denied for a while. I am going to log into Google Reader. There will be a billion brazillion update from my buddies!

The 88 emails were bad enough!

noisy buggers

I have a trio of strapping men in my house at the moment. Making noise. Lots and lots of noise.

Jack and his crew have arrived to to do the renovations and make Mum's room.

The tiles are off a big patch of the roof and holes have been sawn (and banged) into the ceiling. Jacks young son is in the ceiling space (covered in insulation fluff) making more holes.

It has begun.