an interview with Jen

Now that my brain is not sleep-deprived moosh, I can actually write a proper entry.

A few days ago, Jen had an entry in which she answered questions designed by one of her readers. She offered to send questions out to any of her buddies who asked to join the game. Here are the questions she sent me (and my answers).

1. What are the joys, and what are the sorrows, of having children in the military?

The joys, I suppose, are mainly those that I have for all my children, military or not. Watching them grow, mature, experience life. Pride in their achievements, in their demeanour, in their responsibility.

There are two joys that are particularly attached to their military service. The first is my pride at their choice of career. It is not an easy choice. It is not just a job but a all-consuming life. That they feel strongly enough about the defence of our country, our national social responsibilities and protection of our values is a matter of huge pride for me. A joy indeed.

The other particular joy was unexpected. It is the knowledge they share with me about their contact and (often quite intimate) understanding of the foreign cultures with which they have contact. Through their deployments overseas, they have been exposed to both the country in which they are stationed and the foreign nationals with whom they serve. That process of learning with, and through, them is a great joy.

The sorrows. Hmmm. Many, yet able to be condensed into two easy words. Fear. And distance.

Fear for the things they see, the things they might have to do (or have done) and fear for what could be done to them. As a mother I want, no, need, to protect my children. No matter how grown up they are, that need will never leave me. Yet, in the places my kids are sent, that is so far from possible, it is fantasy.

There is also fear that they have so many secret from me. There are so many thing they can't ever tell me. I know that they have been witness to (if not part of) horrific things yet I can't be part of the process of coping and acceptance. I guess that fear is also part of the sorrow of distance.

They are, whether abroad or on our soil, physically very far from me. They are also emotionally remote in areas I cannot even begin to understand. Our relationship has become one of mail and phones and secrets. A sorrow indeed.

2. You seem to be a great cook! What is your favorite recipe of all time.

I must preface this by saying I am more a lover of eating the food than preparing it.

So, favourite recipe. This one is a whole family favourite and is what we eat for breakfast on Christmas morning. (And, yes, I know it is a dessert recipe but, meh, Christmas is that sort of time.)

Passionfruit Flummery

In a bowl mix a heaped tablespoon gelatine powder with a cup of sugar. Slowly mix in a cup of cold water. Set aside. Boil 2 cups of water with the shells of two passionfruit. In another saucepan blend 2 tablespoons of corn flour with the juice of two oranges and a lemon. Slowly add a cup of the boiling water. Stir over a low heat until it turns thick. Pour in the gelatine mixture, still stirring. Add the pulp of 8 passionfruit and pour into a serving bowl. Refrigerate for several hours until set.

3. What are your favorite luxuries in terms of time to yourself when your hubby is on a business (or other trip)? For example, my mom’s best friend has macaroni and cheese every time her husband is away, because she adores it and he hates it. What do you choose to do?

I think the thing I like best is that any sense of a timetable goes out the window. I can eat when (and what) I like, I can get up late or burn the midnight oil, I can go out in the evening. What I choose to do is exactly what I bloody well like because I don't have to constantly take someone else's demands, desires and moods into consideration.

Bliss.

4. What is the thing that you’re most looking forward to in terms of becoming a grandma?

Sharing.

Knowledge, experience, love, cuddles, stories. Yep. Sharing. With the child. With my daughter. With her man.

And watching.

Watching the child grow. Watching my daughter grow as a parent. Watching a couple become a family.

And spoiling.

That's a grandparent's job. To spoil the kid outrageously.

So there you go. My interview with Jen.

I think it is only right and proper that I offer the same deal she did. So, if any of my buddies would like me to pose four d&m questions (based on my reading of their writings) for answering in blogs, let me know in my comments space and I will email the questions to you.