you know you are getting old when...

In the thirty odd years since I got married, the rules seem to have changed.

In those days the guidelines were simple. There were two kinds of weddings. There were the "society" weddings, which we all read about in magazines and tabloids and there were ordinary weddings, the sort normal people attended. The sort I had.

Society weddings were held in cathedrals and officiated over by archbishops.

Ordinary weddings were held in the local church (or someone's garden) and conducted by the local vicar.

Society brides arrived in limousines wearing designer gowns.

Ordinary brides arrived in well polished FJs wearing meringue dresses sewn by the local Italian dressmaker (or bought second hand from an ad in the Trading Post "cream organza, size 12, never worn").

Society receptions were held at exclusive hotels or yacht clubs or on enormous (but privately owned) motor cruisers. The guests were served delicacies created by white hatted chefs.

Ordinary receptions were held at the local CWA or Masonic hall or in a hired marque in Mum and Dad's backyard. The food was either some sort of chicken thing (served half cold) or a smorgasbord whipped up by the local catholic mother's club.

Society brides had a huge retinue of designer clad attendants and carried enormous tropical bouquets.

Ordinary brides had their bestie and their sister in matching frocks that they had made themselves from Butterick #2876) and carried carnations and baby's breathe.

Society brides had towering profiterole wedding cakes.

Ordinary brides had a three tier fruit cakes decorated with thick white roll-on icing and pink tinged flowers (often made by Auntie Florrie, who'd done a class at TAFE).

Society wedding were attended by hundreds of VIP guests wearing outfits that cost more than a new car.

Ordinary weddings were attended by a few dozen family and friends wearing their best going-to-court suit or a new dress from Portmans.

Society brides recieved professionally wrapped gifts chosen from a registry at Harrods or David Jones.

Ordinary couples got presents wrapped in paper sporting welling bells, crossed off a list kept next to the bride's Mum's phone.

Society wedding caused oohs and aahs. We all avidly read the accounts and scanned the fuzzy pictures and tsked at the expense. We knew it was fantasy.

Ordinary weddings didn't make anything more classy than the local rag but they were fun. They were about love and family. And they were affordable.

So, what happened? Why is it that brides these days aspire to (and have) a society wedding? Why is it that weddings now cost more than a deposit on a house?

There has been a lot of talk of weddings in our house lately. The organisation for our son's big day is well under way. My youngest is contemplating hers. My middle daughter is just waiting for her fella to cough up the ring and my eldest daughter spent the last weekend poncing around in matron-of-honour mode. Weddings are definitely the flavour of the season around here.

When my eldest daughter got married, it was a fun time. The ceremony, and the reception, exactly fitted their life style. The reception was a giant piss-up at the local pub (with yummy finger food) and the ceremony was held in a pretty garden. They had an icecream cake and cut it with a sword my SIL had made himself. The suits were hired and the frocks simple and they were surrounded by good mates and immediate family. It was a good day.

My son's wedding, scheduled for next May, will be bigger than Ben Hur. The bride is is spending more on her imported frock than Bronwen spent on her honeymoon. She's have four attendants carrying specially grown orchids. The reception is at a very exclusive (and expensive) restaurant and the toasts will be drunk in Moet. There will be limos and ushers and photograph sessions at a dozen locations and chairs draped in white tulle for the bridal party of enthrone themselves.

From my point of view it is all totally over the top.

Trouble is, from accounts of other wedding my kids have recently attended, it is becoming pretty much the norm.

Posh has YSL design her frock. So can I. Katie Holmes has a 10m train. Mine can be 11. JLo had a ten tier wedding cake in 15 different flavours. Mine is can be too.

What was once just fantasy has become the demand of the modern bride. Every wedding seems to be bigger and better(?) than the one before. Every bride seems to feel a need to go one up on her already married friends. They are not just trying to keep up (or exceed) the Joneses, they are trying to outdo the Packers! Thousands and thousands and tens of thousands of dollars are spent on an event that will last six or so hours.

I wonder if the brides actually enjoy their day.

Call me old-fashioned but I find it all rather repugnant.

But I would never say that to my (almost) daughter-in-law.

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On a totally different note....

If any of you have any influence over an interventionist deity of any kind, can you ask for some support for young Sam. His wee mite, Kloey, is having an MRI this week to find out about a lump on her spine and possible surgery. They need all the good vibes and blessings they can get.