it's all about Ben and Paris

We are one of those families that feels that the day hasn't begun properly if we haven't read a newspaper. We buy at least one every day (except Christmas and Good Friday when the bastards don't print one). We read them cover to cover and do all the puzzles. We are (ever so slightly) addicted to newspapers.

When I was in Queensland, I went into withdrawal. My daughter doesn't read the paper at home, she scans the copy in the cribroom at work. No papers in the house.

I survived for two days and then I went out and bought the only one that was available, The Townsville Bulletin. It was crap. Parochial doesn't even touch how limited it was. But it was the only one there so I read it. (And watched ABC and SBS news a lot.)

When I got back home, I was so bloody desperate for a "proper" paper that I bought one from a 24 hour servo on the way home. Reading it was the first thing I did after hauling my case out of the car.

Now, I have always know that The West was not exactly the best of papers. It is very much the poor cousin by even national standards. But it is all we have locally (the shop doesn't stock The Australian except at weekends). Even so, what a disappointment.

Having had a break and having to re-establish familiarity with the paper, I have been looking at it far more critically that before. And I have come to the conclusion that it is not just a poor cousin, it is the inbreeder that should have been locked in the cellar. It is total crap.

If The West is to be believed, American boys are no longer dying in Iraq, there hasn't been a suicide bomber anywhere in the world except Scotland, no African countries are having droughts or famines, there doesn't seem to still be unrest in Afghanistan, not a single African refugee has landed on European shores to be arrested and confined, and, gee, even all those black kiddies dying of starvation seem to disappeared.

But The West always reports the important stuff. We know what Hillary Clinton wears on the campaign trail (and Bill backing off the dais)and that the Hilton kid is out of jail (sans make-up). We know all about Ben Cousins (will he, won't he play this weekend). We are fully informed about the possible revamp of Subi Oval (and all the alternatives) and we have every contentious word that Howard said to contradict Costello (oil? schmoil). Prince Charles (not getting his feet muddy) made page three today and the headlines were all about the Glasgow bombing's Aussie connection (maybe).

And I thought the Townsville Bulletin was parochial!

The more I think of it, the more I give major snaps to that newsreader that refused to open her programme with Paris. Some more journalist of that moral standing would be well welcome in my newspaper.